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Is it really Christmas again? Where did the year go?

It has its ups and downs and I look back with a laughing and a crying eye. So many great people are gone too soon, so many things went wrong in the world, but still there are so many people caring for each other, helping each other and once in a while one has to admit that the best way really is to keep calm, take a break, take a deep breath and slow yourself back to a normal way of life.

I'll spend the next days at my parents, like literally every year. We'll chat, we'll have fun, we'll look through old family pictures, telling stories in the candlelit rooms.

I hope all of you will enjoy the days in a similar way. Enjoy the moment, don't think about next week or next month. Hold still for some days and relax. :)
  • Listening to: First Aid Kit - America
  • Reading: Ahriman - Exile
  • Watching: Supernatural S 2
  • Playing: WoW
  • Eating: sweeeeets
  • Drinking: fruit soda
This years october will be a pretty busy month but I decided to do the ink-tober anyway. At least I will try. So by now I collect suggestions for scetches that I'll try to do as good as I can.
Idea behind this is to get more practice for faces and poses, get faster with scetching, using the eraser much less and over all have fun on the way to work and back home, because all of it
I'll do in the train.

So.... if you have an idea what I could/should do, feel free to tell me :)
  • Listening to: The Lord Inquisitor Soundtrack
  • Reading: Shadows of treachery
  • Watching: Torchwood
  • Playing: WoW
  • Eating: too much and too sweet
  • Drinking: herb tea
You know that you're tired when you stand in front of the coffee machine and notice a second before refilling it that you hold the bag with the dry cat food not the bag with the coffee beans.

You know that you're too tired when you are a step further and your coffee tastes strange.
The day, when the bags will have the same color, will be my doom.
  • Listening to: Marco Polo OST
  • Reading: Horus Rising (again!)
  • Watching: Marco Polo - Netflix
  • Playing: WoW
  • Eating: banana
  • Drinking: pear spritzer
  1. How long have you been on DeviantArt?
  2. It's a bit over 11 years now.
  3. What does your username mean?
  4. "marianus" is the name of one of my pen & paper characters, most unlucky sharp shooter ever, always needed 3 shots before he hit the target.
  5. Describe yourself in three words.
  6. A tomboy girl.
  7. Are you left or right handed?
  8. Right-handed.
  9. What was your first deviation?
  10. shadowdancer 1 by vulpescorax
  11. What is your favourite type of art to create?
  12. I prefer traditional art.
  13. If you could instantly master a different art style, what would it be?
  14. Digital paintings.
  15. What was your first favourite?
  16. 0 - The Fool by puimun
  17. What type of art do you tend to favourite the most?
  18. watercolor paintings and landscape photographs
  19. Who is your all-time favourite deviant artist?
  20. It's impossible to answer that question. I change my favourites from time to time, depending on my interests and influences and moods.
  21. If you could meet anyone on DeviantArt in person, who would it be?
  22. The guys from the watercolor workshop. You know who you are :)
  23. How has a fellow deviant impacted your life?
  24. Absolutely. Without Gold-Seven I would be unable to do what I do.
  25. What are your preferred tools to create art?
  26. Pencil, ink and watercolor
  27. What is the most inspirational place for you to create art?
  28. Honestly? The train I take every day to get to work and back. It's not the place, it's the music I hear and the books I read.
  29. What is your favourite DeviantArt memory?
  30. When goldseven ask her watchers what she should paint next and I asked her for "Feanor prettyprettypleasewithcreamontop". She did. Exactly. By word. A Feanor... with cream on top. Plus waffle and cherry.
  • Listening to: Mad Max OST
  • Reading: The Talon of Horus (Black Legion Series 1)
  • Watching: Castle - Season 4
  • Playing: WoW and Space Marine
  • Eating: chocolate pudding
  • Drinking: water
Well, yes, that's the best word to describe it.

For nearly 8 years now I've been a loyal world of warcraft gamer, first the horde, then the alliance. I even rarely create artworks besides warcraft fanart. But now, I'm afraid, this has to end. For a while. A little. Maybe. Or maybe longer, well, you see....

The first interuption in this well-tended daily routine came in the name of a man named Bernard Cornwell and his "Warlord chronicles" series about Not-quite-a-King Arthur and the Britons against the Saxons. Actually he is one of the culprits to blame for all the battle scenes during the last months.

And then, when I finished the books and thought about to give the guys some faces and space on the paper - I've been infected.

Infected with the overwhelming power of the Horus heresy books of the Warhammer universe. I can't stop reading, I can't stop searching pictures and I'm very sure you know what will happen within the next months.

So ladies and gentlemen, I'm very sorry to announce this, but prepare for the glorious Space Marines. :D

More armour and more battles, yes!
  • Listening to: Enders game OST
  • Reading: Horus heresy - book 3
  • Watching: The Arrow
  • Playing: WoW and Dawn of War II
  • Eating: toffee chunk chocolate bar
  • Drinking: juice
So the last days I've been very busy. First I once again took part in the watercolor workshop held by Gold-Seven in Aachen this year.

Again it was an fantastic time with lots of great and crazy people and an unbelievable amount of artwork done in only two days.

I learned many new things about picture compositioning and colored light and shadows - and even managed to keep that in mind for the future, yey me!

The last four days I spent in Cologne, visiting a dear friend. You won't believe it but I really survived a whole week without MMO games :D

I still got a lot of line art here on my desk and the next few days I will use to reduce them in the creative way.
  • Listening to: Sabaton - Carolus Rex
  • Playing: WoW, ACBF
So the first holiday is over, spent the first half renovating my living room with new wallpaper and colors (chose white, bamboo and caramel brown, sooo cosy!) and the second half with a cold. But it was relaxing anyway, except for the pills.

So work got me back last thursday and now 3 days free with tons of sun and heat. Too much heat, even for me, and I really like it hot. For Berlin the Whitsun holidays (or Pentecost) are a big multicultural street festival, the Karneval der Kulturen,  for 3 days, starting saturday and every, really every year, the festival ist drowned in sun and warmth. I really wanted to watch it this year but not with 35°C and more in the shadows.

So I used the time to work on the first linearts for the watercolor workshop of Gold-Seven that I will participate again this year. Got still some weeks left but you know like it is, time runs like hell.

Gold-Seven is not only helding two workshops for watercoloring this year, she also still works on her project "Darkness over Cannae", an illustrated novel with 144 pages about one of the most epic battles in world history. There are still 10 days left and only 600,00 Euro missing for her crowdfunding campain to reach the last stretch goal to not only create a very impressive piece of novel art, but also a booklet with concept art, the making of and historical considerations. So maybe you want to drop by at indiegogo and help funding a great piece of art and get a first print and maybe with some extras she offers.
  • Listening to: Sabaton - Carolus Rex
  • Playing: WoW, ACBF
How can it be that in school stuff like "army 1 was fighting agains army 2" are boring as hell and only a handful of pupils learn the stuff in interest instead of "have to for the tests"?

Recently I often find myself researching history in facts I didn't care for 20 years earlier in school. For example I put my nose deep in history books about the crusades because of "Assassins Creed" and start researching european history and the history of single persons since my friends got me deep into the Sabaton fandom. Sabaton is a swedish power metal band whose main lyrical themes are based on war and historical battles all over the world (but mainly WW 1 and 2) and their leaders or heroes.

I think it's because the facts in history school books are too dull, the content is mostly an endless chains of numbers and facts and nearly nothing around it. Pictures of heros here and there, some pictures of important politicans of their time and tons of texts about numbers, years, election results and so on but what about the things that happened on the battlefields?

I remember how a friend of mine and myself asked our history teacher in 10th grade school to teach us something about the pacific war in the WW2. In that time we were watching the TV series "Baa Baa Black Sheep" (in german: Pazifikgeschwader 214) and were so interested in the background of the happings and all our lessons were an endless repeat of Weimar republic, 1939 -1945, Blitzkrieg, Stalingrad and starting again for years. Skandinavia, Africa, Pacific? Mentioned in one line in the books, that's all. The teachers answer was: "If you want to have something about this in the lessons, you have to do it yourself with a speech." That settled it. The theme was never brought up again.

Be honest. Your first thought about the name "Hannibal" is a guy with a mask on his face, asking women about sheep traumata and a taste for raw liver. My first thought is a man with some elephants marching across the alps and for that an some more stress for the romans Carthago was wiped from the surface, but in both cases it's not the thought about a man who defeated an much larger roman army in a big battle in one day.

When I first read about Gold-Sevens project "Darkness over Cannae" I was like "Ohhhhh?" and it fixed me from the beginning to learn more about it.

Gold-Sevens project will be an illustrated novel with 144 pages about one of the most epic battles in world history but to bring it alive she needs a lot of help.

I dare to quote her:
144 pages. 77 illustrations. 86,000 legionaries. 50,000 Celts, Spaniards, and Africans. One goal: To get this out there!

Please head over to Indiegogo and check out the crowdfunding campaign, and whether you decide to contribute to the project or just spread the word via social media, get the word out - I'll be so grateful! 

A few words about the project:
For half a year now, I've been working on an illustrated novel titled "Darkness over Cannae". It depicts a single day in 216 BC, the 2nd of August in Apulia, the day eight Roman legions were smashed by the military genius of Hannibal Barca. We see this day through the eyes of seven people fighting on that plain - three Romans and four Carthaginians - at different points of the battle, and all with their different outlooks and experiences in a pivotal day in all of their lives. 

Coming late 2014 - Darkness over Cannae. 

Preorder the book. Support the campaign. Be part of the project!
So please help to make history interesting again!
  • Listening to: Sabaton - Carolus Rex
  • Playing: WoW, ACBF
Sometimes things happen in life you can only sit and watch and shake your head in disbelief if this had really happened or are you watching a movie or are just dreaming.

On the 22nd of February my grandmother (on mothers side) passed away with an age of 100 years.

Her birthday was on the 2nd february and even to the fact she lived in a nursing home because her body was too weak she was still able to recognize her children (sounds so cute but the oldest is already 80 years old :D) and grandchildren and told stories on and on of "then".

The 22nd of February was also the birthday of my grandmother on fathers side, who died nearly 7 years ago on the 23rd of April, which also was the 66th birthday of my father, her son. On this day she too would have become 100 years old.

Last monday was the burial so a lot of the big family came together for the last farewell. And this is when all went in very...strange.... ways.

We came together for dinner and after that drove in line to the small cemetery and the chapel. Across the street is a small supermarket and the next building a small branch bank. Two women stood  in front of the bank building, then came a police car, the officer got out and talked to the women. So far so good. He used his walkie-talkie while we all went to the chapel to say finally goodbye.

The whole day was dark and grey, cold and windy. But when the speech started one little sunbeam managed to fall directly on grandmas portrait for nearly a minute. It makes you both, smiling and crying. While the music played (from a keyboard with a programmed midi file quality version of greensleaves... -.-) the distant sound of a helicopter became noticable.

About an hour later we went to the grave on the cemetery followed by an trumpeter. The wind stopped and it was really quiet an pieceful - except for that damn helicopter which flew about the bank building.

To say goodbye and to finally recognize that this is final is hard. Really hard. We layed down flowers and said goodbye when a big grown shepherd dog appeared between the tombstones and ran toward the grave an in our group and within a blink was a away. Absolute disbelief. What idiot takes his dog to the cem.. oh. Wait. There was a line on the dog. A line between the dog's K9-badge and the police officer who hold the other end. Four more officers ran across the cemetery and the helicopter, a police helicopter, now was right above us.

It came out that not nearly an hour before our arrival a man had robbed that branch bank and fled right across the cemetery.

This is strange? It's not the end of the story.

When we drove back to my cousins home for coffee and some cake we stared in disbelief at the police helicopter hovering above the house and then slowly trailing off to the nearby woods. My cousin told us a story from last summer. She owns some chicken and turkey and also a handfull of small houses for holiday guests. One day a tramp stole one of her chickens, broke into one of those small houses and used the oven to help himself with a nice little roast chicken.

That, my dears, was the most bizarre thing I EVER experienced.

P.S. No, they didn't catch the thief.
Well - there it goes. 2013. Only a few days are left. And what will remain of the year?
2013 started like a normal year. With a nice one-week-vacation, a solid base of work in the office.

Then... I don't know when exactly it happened. Must have been around March. Personal projects, less and less work. The summer holidays were planned too short, the weather was a midddleheavy disaster with the rain, the storm, the mud, the cold or burning heat... Recovery time? - No way.

Work trembled down the rabbit hole and soon the fear of losing the job was more than just an nasty little thing in the back of the head. Should I start looking for a new one or not? I decided against. New job? - No way.

Summer came. Well the few weeks with sun and warmth between rainy cold spring and rainy cold autumn. (What lies between spring and autumn? Winter! :D ) The situation became worse and worse, the head full with ideas, with fears, with problems that weren't even mine.

So a few weeks ago, in the first week of November, my body said to me "You there. You don't listen to me when I tell you to slow down? Then eat THIS!" and a small burn out hit me full in the face, literally. 6 week out of office, out of stress and searching for new energy to keep on going. One thing that helped me a lot to find my way back was a movie, called "The way" by Emilio Estevez. The story: A father heads overseas to recover the body of his estranged son who died while traveling the "El camino de Santiago," and decides to take the pilgrimage himself. (

This movie about the son, who gave up everything for his own luck, with the father who felt responsible and resumed the journey for his son, carrying his ashes all the 500 miles, touched me right in the middle of myself, especially the question that the father gave a hostel keeper: "Have you ever walked the camino?" and she answered "No. When I was young I had too much to do. Work to be done. Now I'm too old and too lazy."

So I asked myself when will I start to live for myself?  When will I start the discover what the world offers instead of hiding in my 4 walls?

For years now I push myself more and more to go on, crossing limits now and then and now I received the payback.
No one will be happy if I'm out of order, it's no help for anyone when I'm away and unable to even get the few steps to the door. And honestly, it's frightening when I ask my friends and collegues and costumers, how many of them are in the same situation, some of them for years now.

But the solution is so simple.

Take your time. Quantity is not quality. Work, yes, but let the work stay in the office. Don't take it home, not even in your head. Slow down and enjoy your life. Find the bright spots even on a rainy day. Don't close your ears and eyes for your environment. And do what you want to do. Don't get lost in excuses like "no time, no money, not the right moment". Bullshit! If you really want it, you will find a way.

Everyone has 2 lives. And the second life starts when we realise, that we have only one life.

I will go into 2014 with a colorful potpourri of ideas and plans and I'm very curious how many I will turn from a plan to an act.
Do you know those days?

You get up 5 minutes too late to catch your train.
So you miss the connecting train and you are 10 minutes late at work.
You missed breakfast because you got up too late and think "eat later at work".
You arrive at work to find a surprising customer visit sitting in the office kitchen, blocking fridge, coffee machine and your cereals.
Your coworker says "they won't stay long" and you believe it to find them still sitting there 3 hours later.
By now your stomach hangs around your kneecaps because of your hunger.
You can't go outside to get some food because you are the only one in the office except your coworker and the visitors in the closed kitchen. so no one left for the telefone.
You can't go outside to get some food because you are the only one in the office except your coworker and the visitors in the closed kitchen. so you can't simply lock the door for 5 minutes to get to the supermarket for food.
Another hour later the go. But only 2 of 3 visitors. Torture goes on.
The last visitor has left, you grab your stuff an run to the supermarket, buy some microwave food, run back, throw the food in the miracle box and wait only 3 minutes for hot "fresh" food.
You grab your food, still boiling in the corners, go to your desk, try to eat the first bit when the bowl trembles over and all of your fresh, hot food splashes over your shiny new keyboard.

So in the end you are hungy, messed up your desk and ruined your keyboard.

Not my day.
  • Listening to: Last Of Us - OST
  • Reading: "The winter king"
  • Watching: Last Of Us - "movie"
  • Playing: WoW, Mass Effect 2
  • Eating: .oO(waiting for lunch break)
  • Drinking: tomato juice
So during the last weekend I took part in the watercolour workshop of :icongold-seven: , who teached us for 2 days how to and how not to work with watercolours and brushes.

It was a very fascinating weekend and I am still surprised what I am able to paint actually if I only dare this and that. Some things I would never had dared in my whole life, too much afraid of wrong results, but I was showed how wrong I was. I'm pretty sure to do it again next year. Right now my head is filled with ideas, scenes, drawings, colours, poses, perspectives and so on, I first have to give that a way. :)

The other thing is - I'm totally addicted to "Last of us" for days now. Since I own an PS 3 now (thank you, Lün!) I will buy it and can drool while watching Joel for the whole day. I'm pretty sure my boss will understand my personal needs of admiring virtual guys.
  • Listening to: Last Of Us - OST
  • Reading: "The winter king"
  • Watching: Last Of Us - "movie"
  • Playing: WoW, Mass Effect 2
  • Eating: .oO(waiting for lunch break)
  • Drinking: tomato juice

Devious Journal Entry

Journal Entry: Fri Mar 22, 2013, 4:21 AM

Another month is gone and time flies by - as usual. Found a lot of new ideas and inspiration in Bernard Cromwell-books. I rarely read such good written fantasy novels. About 20 years ago (OMG o.O) I read "The mists of Avalon" by Marion Zimmer-Bradley, a third person narration of the Arthus-legend. I liked it but parts of the book were simply too long and kind of pressed to simply go through the pages for the next chapter. Well in the books of Cromwell.... it's a third person narration, too, told by one of Arthas' fighters and sometimes I almost miss my train station because I can't stop reading. It has been quite a while since something like that happened to me. :D

Besides reading and drawing (yes, I'm still in it) I'm full busy with planning and working for the next big LARP convention, which will be in... 9 weeks. I don't see how I will finish everything in time. Same procedure as every year. :D

  • Listening to: We were soldiers - OST
  • Reading: "We are soldiers still"
  • Watching: youtube documentaries
  • Playing: WoW
  • Eating: .oO(waiting for lunch break)
  • Drinking: Tea!

Same procedure as every year?

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 1:02 AM
I don't think so. Of course the year is not as young as it could be but nethertheless I still keep to 3 of my good intentions. Sports, being early at work and... yes, drawing. While browsing my gallery I suddenly noticed how old some of the pictures are which I really like a lot. So I keep on drawing and practicing, with pencil and computer and got some nice projects at hand (which I hope to presentate here around summer if everything works fine). Besides I work on LARP (live action role play) clothings and want to finish my first own plate armour until summer.

In January I had been on a one week holiday trip to Quedlinburg, a small historic town in Saxony-Anhalt and UNESCO world heritage, full of old carcass houses, a large cathedral and the cutest pub I've ever visited. If you have the chance to visit the place - do it! It's like a trip back in time, quiet and peaceful an a wonderful chance to get your head free from your daily worries.

2 weeks ago my grandma had her 99th birthday. It's nearly unbelievable and still no end in sight. I hope for several more years and I would feel lucky to reach such an age with her condition. Well, we will see. :)

  • Listening to: Cloud Atlas - OST
  • Reading: Bernard Cromwell - The Shadowlord
  • Watching: North & South
  • Playing: Mass Effect AND WoW
  • Eating: cereals
  • Drinking: Tea! :D


Journal Entry: Tue Aug 7, 2012, 1:13 AM

A look at the calendar told me that it's August already. August. Where the hell are the last 8 months? Time is going on faster and faster and the usual "I will write you a letter next week" becomes an "I will write you next ... month?"

During the last year I've got totally excited about the "Song of ice an fire"-books by G. R. R. Martin and finally finished the last one. That's why I sat with a book instead with a scetchbook in the metro and that's why it was so quiet here. I'm kind of happy that time flies by like nothing so it won't feel too long waiting for the next volume or TV-season. (Yeah, I know, still long enough ... )

Right now I've got a new obsession - Mass Effect. Best thanks to my friends to find me a new drug so that after 5 years in World of Warcraft I've got a new game that needs my full attention, which means no more the 5 hours of sleep per night, even during the week. And no, that doesn't mean I've quit WoW. Pandaria already knocks at the door and I still don't know what to think of that. Of course, it's about time for new content and new graphics and new character models and and and. And yes, I know, they've been in Warcraft III, too. But, honestly, panda bears? I'm not convinced. Not really. The best add-on will always be Wrath of the Lich King and before I create a cute and fluffy panda bear Commander Shepard will save the galaxy twice.

  • Listening to: Mass Effect - OST
  • Reading: ... questlogs?
  • Watching: Damaged DVD Box
  • Playing: Mass Effect AND WoW
  • Eating: cereals
  • Drinking: coooffeeeeeee.......

no spine ...

Journal Entry: Thu Jan 19, 2012, 6:24 AM
Facebook l Gallery l dA Portfolio l Watch Me l Note Me

Of course I made my new years pledges. Like every year. Well, at least I said to myself "Start it when the holidays are over."
Guess what? Nope, I didn't. Everyday I find myself again to lazy to get my ass up and every weekend I say again "start next monday".

I wonder when I stop even to even make the pledges. :D

CSS made by TwiggyTeeluck
Texture by Princess-of-Shadows
  • Listening to: Dark Knight - OST
  • Reading: A storm of swords
  • Watching: Dr. Who - season 6
  • Playing: still WoW (how surprising news!)
  • Eating: gingerbread
  • Drinking: clubmate (tea with soda - very yummy!)
So the year is nearly at it's end and brought a lot of good things but also not so good things.

I'm looking forward to spend some days with my family and will enjoy my 3 weeks far away from office and cellphone :D

Wish you all a merry merry christmas and a happy new year.
  • Listening to: Dark Knight - OST
  • Reading: A storm of swords
  • Watching: Dr. Who - season 6
  • Playing: still WoW (how surprising news!)
  • Eating: gingerbread
  • Drinking: clubmate (tea with soda - very yummy!)
This weekend I was on a short holiday trip. I came home yesterday afternoon, started checking mails in the evening and finally looked up dA....over 200 comments in my messages?
First I thought it was a failure. ^^;

It took me some time to realize I got a DD and stared blank at my monitor. This happening to me is something I never thought of.

This morning I found over 1000 messages and I can't help but I find me unable to answer every one of them.

So, dear deviants, thank you very very much for your comments. I read every one of them and try to answer your questions, I really do :)
Thank you very much for your favourites and watches.

I simply feel blown away.

THANK YOU ALL! :thanks:
  • Listening to: Myst IV - OST
  • Reading: Master and Commander
  • Watching: Game of Thrones
  • Playing: still WoW (how surprising news!)
  • Eating: got no breakfast yet
  • Drinking: coffee
The problem to like reading is - when you read you don't draw.
The last months I spend nearly every free minute in reading plots, books, even writing scripts for roleplay.

Actually I started to read "Master and Commander" by Patrick O'Brian and as soon as I figured all the navy speaks meaning out I liked it very very much! Book Nr. 2 already waits and 19 more waiting on my to-by-list.

But this has to wait since I has been infected with the "Game of thrones"-virus. I never saw a tv series of THAT quality! Everything is perfect and even with this many main characters it's not confusing or getting bored.

Can't wait to buy the soundtrack!
  • Listening to: Inception OST
  • Reading: Master and Commander
  • Watching: Game of thrones
  • Playing: still WoW (how surprising news!)
  • Eating: nectarines
  • Drinking: coffeeeeeeeee (will it ever change?)
Guess you already noticed - I'm not into drawing these days. Why? Well, I've been on vacation, made a half ton of photos (yep, there will be more) and still have about 1000 pages to read with the first trilogy of Robert Ludlums "Jason Bourne", which will be followed by the second trilogy - so guess what ^^

Anyway, I still have my scetchbook by hand every day :) My head spins, full with ideas I'm unable to put it on paper.

And absolutely off topic:

If you haven't seen INCEPTION yet, just the hell do it! For me it's the greatest movie in years! :w00t:
  • Listening to: Sherlock Holmes OST
  • Reading: Jason Bourne
  • Watching: -
  • Playing: still WoW
  • Eating: nectarines
  • Drinking: coffeeeeeeeee (will it ever change?)